Climate Weirdoes Try to Smash a Historic Painting with Hammers in Epic Fail

Anton Balazh /
Anton Balazh /

A pair of climate cultists tried to destroy a beautiful historical painting at London’s National Gallery earlier this week. They savagely attacked the painting with hammers in an attempt to somehow save the weather. Fortunately for art lovers everywhere, climate activists tend to be noodle-armed wimps. The attack was foiled by the safety glass protecting the Rokeby Venus. The two wimps identified themselves as members of the Just Stop Oil eco-terrorist group and were arrested by police for their fruitless actions.

The Rokeby Venus was painted by Diego Rodríguez de Silva y Velázquez, a Knight of the Order of Santiago, sometime between 1647 and 1651. It’s one of his most famous works and one of the most recognizable works of art from the 17th century.

Velázquez was the main artist in the court of King Phillip IV of Spain and Portugal. His amazing works of art inspired 19th-century impressionists and realists, as a combination of a precise tenebrist style that laid the groundwork for the bold brush strokes of his later works. His paintings have moved generations of artists, including the likes of Pablo Picasso and Francis Bacon.

So naturally, some climate dorks who have never built or created anything beautiful would want to smash one of Velázquez’s most famous works of art.

After their failed attempt to smash the painting, the frumpy gal who could benefit from some makeup screeched, “Women didn’t get the vote by voting! it’s time for deeds not words!”

The woman, identified as 22-year-old Hanan, issued a longer statement after the London police arrested her on criminal damage charges:

“Over 100 years ago, the suffragette Mary Richardson attacked the Rokeby Venus portrait for the unjust imprisonment of Emmeline Pankhurst. Today I have used similar methods in the fight for climate justice.”

The difference between Mary Richardson’s attack on the painting in 1914 and this one is that Mary Richardson actually did some damage to the painting.

The noodle-armed boy, identified as 22-year-old Harrison, also screeched something unintelligible. Here’s a rough paraphrase:

“Millions will die blah blah blah just stop oil!”

Then the two losers sat down on the floor and linked hands until the police came to arrest them. It was obviously the first time that Harrison had ever touched a girl.

The irony is that if this noodle-armed boy asked the frumpy girl out on a date, the two of them might actually find some meaningful purpose for their lives other than committing acts of domestic terrorism against works of art in hopes of somehow influencing the weather. The climate brainwashing that these people have been through is so strong that they can’t see the obvious right in front of themselves and realize that they are just globalist pawns doing useful idiot work for the very corporations that they think they’re protesting.

If they really wanted to do something counter-cultural in this day and age, our advice to “rebels” like Harrison and Hanan would be to go out on a few dates, get engaged, get married, have children, raise a family, and enjoy time together in rocking chairs on the front porch when they’re old, as their grandchildren play in the front yard. Create something beautiful and meaningful of your own, instead of trying to smash something beautiful that was created by someone more talented than you.

It’s really sad that youths these days are missing out on life itself as they throw their futures away on pointless causes that will leave their lives empty, meaningless, and barren when they’re old.

Here is Harrison and Hanan’s pointless, failed attack on a famous painting: