Hunter Plunges White House to DEFCON Level V After Leaving His Blow

Gary Varvel /
Gary Varvel /

July 2nd saw the White House suddenly go into extreme lockdown mode with President Biden already away at Camp David. With Secret Service agents doing routing sweeps of the West Wing, they suddenly discovered a mysterious white powder in an area designated for tour groups, according to groups unauthorized to speak on the matter.

Evacuating the area, the lockdown sent emergency crews in to do some rapid testing of the powder. This test determined that the powder was, in fact, cocaine, and while the White House was reopened it was cleaned up and sent for additional testing. With Biden having been gone from the White House since June 30th and returning July 4th, this was a bit of unexpected excitement.

Despite the Secret Service claiming that this was under investigation, it is well known and documented that Hunter has been spending more time around Daddy. Especially after the President ensured his son got the sweetheart deal of the century. This ‘suddenly discovered’ cocaine would have to be from Hunter. He’s one of very few who can just walk right in to visit, and as such, would be the best candidate for it. Especially since nobody has ever made him answer for his crack and cocaine habits.

Urgent responses like this cost thousands of dollars each time they are called out. Yet those responsible here won’t foot the bill. Instead, the check will get passed down to the American taxpayers. Just like his voting base, President Biden has a family full of drug users, and just like other Democrats, he is perfectly fine with it.